Pastor Clint Evans' newspaper column
So, a lot has happened since the last time I wrote an article. It has been almost four months since my alcohol relapse, in which I not only made the horrific choice to get behind the wheel, evade police officers, and cause property damage (I thank God everyday no one got hurt), but also when I found out that I have cancer.
It has been a long, hard journey—not only dealing with my legal issues (which were resolved on Jan. 29), but also reflecting on how I got to this situation in the first place. I have gone through a great deal of counseling, been attending A. A. meetings, spent a lot of time in reading and prayer in order to improve myself. Through this process, I have uncovered a lot of stuff that I kept below the surface, a lot of issues that needed to be resolved and worked through. I still have a long way to go, but I believe that this journey has changed me into a new man.
Physically, I am taking it one day at a time. I started chemo a little bit ago at Mayo and it has not been easy. As a person who was never sick and was very blessed physically, it has been hard seeing my body “betray” me. My famous appetite is diminished; I am more tired than usual. I am no longer in control. But there is beauty in this, as I have had no choice but to surrender and give everything over to God. Am I thrilled with my circumstances? Of course not. But I put myself (and others) in a terrible situation and I have seen God make good things happen out of it. I am thankful the cancer was detected—as I had no symptoms beforehand. Yes it is stage 4, but I have a chance at living a while with all the medical advances that have happened. And I have been absolutely flabbergasted at all the love and support I have received from the community. You had every right to kick me to the curb, but you chose to stick by me and I am forever indebted to you for that.
But I know all is not well yet. I have been reinstated to work (part-time, slowly building up to full-time), but it is not like I can go back to work like nothing happened. A lot of healing, a lot of reconciliation, a lot of rebuilding relationships has to take place. My actions not only harmed me, but they harmed my family, my congregations and the respective communities I serve. There are not enough words to express how remorseful I am. If I have hurt you deeply, please come talk to me about it. Once again, I love you all and am thankful to be part of this community.
Grace and Peace,