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The Sleepy Eye Herald Dispatch - Sleepy Eye, MN
  • Winter's cold shoulder

  • Holy Thinsulate–get me out of here!
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  • Holy Thinsulate–get me out of here!
    It's seems like it's been cold for so long I can hardly remember any other weather.
    Earlier this week I awoke from a near-hibernation slumber to drag my cold body to the shower to warm up. But winter decided to play a trick on me. No hot water.
    I stood in the shower for a good five minutes waiting for the water to warm up while I was getting physically colder by the minute.
    When it was clear that the frost fairies were not going to grant my wish for a hot shower, I nearly shoved Hubby into the wall in passing in the hallway.
    "Someone is grumpy this morning," he smirked.
    With temperatures still camping out in double digits below zero– my only source of solace and warmth in this sickenly cold has been in one 15-minute shower per day.
    "This is the LAST winter I'm going to live in Minnesota," I shouted.
    I'm close to having a full-on winter weather temper tantrum. I'm tired of being cold.
    Cold has never been one of my favorite temperatures probably because it seems like I've spent most of my life BEING cold.
    "I'd rather be cold then hot," Hubby reasoned. "If you're hot there is only so much you can do. If you're cold at least you can add layers."
    But what happens when you've added so many layers you can't put your arms down and your STILL cold?
    Welcome to my life.
    I'm fairly certain I can maintain a heart rate, blood pressure and metabolism that is slow enough to induce hibernation.
    I'm tired of scrambling from a heated building to heated car and vice versa for what feels like an eternity. When a cold blast of arctic air hits me in the face I sputter and cough as if someone has just cut off my air supply.
    Even looking outside this past week gives me the shivers.
    I blew in the door after work on Monday to find Roo slumbering in his cozy cat bed.
    "Roo, I wish I had your life and I never had to go outside….EVER!" I said to him. "I would just sleep in my cat bed all day long being warm."
    Hubby, who eavesdropped on my conversation, expressed concern when he heard me talking to the cat.
    "Do you always talk to the cat like a person or is this something new I should be worried about?" he asked.
    "Maybe," I said. "I also yelled at the furnace this morning for trying to seduce me into staying home with him."
    Page 2 of 2 - I talked to son, Mason, over the weekend who expressed dislike about Minnesota Gov. Mark Dayton cancelling school statewide. He lives in International Falls, the "Ice Box of the Nation," and didn't see how Monday's lows were any different than any of the other cold days this winter they have attended school.
    I explained the wind chill is what makes it worse. That, and it allows us to disrespect the awesome awfulness of 25-below-zero weather in calm winds.
    He said the wind chill is something that us "southern folk" use to make ourselves feel better when we are whining because it's cold out.
    Tuesday's lows were forecasted and Gov. Dayton said the districts had the choice whether or not to close school. By noon on Monday nearly every district from Duluth to International Falls had cancelled school for a second day.
    I guess they must have learned about wind chill.
    The best part about winter? Eventually it ends. Right?
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