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The Sleepy Eye Herald Dispatch - Sleepy Eye, MN
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July 7, 2014 12:01 a.m.
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Sept. 9, 2013 12:01 a.m.



I haven't been speaking lately, but I have missed performing at nursing homes, so I took five on this week: Fertile and Twin Valley last week, Hawley today, Halstad tomorrow and Crookston Wednesday. 

Today in Hawley, I asked a woman in the front row how she was doing. 

"Well, I am not a chocolate chip cookie, I can tell you that much for sure!"

I said I wouldn't hold it against her.

Afterward in the coffee hall where we had some delicious fresh donuts, a man told me he had written a poem about himself, would I care to hear it?

I said sure.

"When I get drunk and take a walk

I pick up cigarettes butts off the sidewalk.

I have a whole box."

It is sure a heck of a lot better than this

Aunt Olla had an eye appointment today. I couldn't take her due to the Hawley engagement, so I leaned on brother Joe. It was a little ambiguous what the appointment was about as it was allegedly to fix some broken glasses, although the ones on her nose looked fine. 

Eventually, it came out: Olla was hoping to use a pair of broken old frames as an excuse to get new, more fashionable frames for when she's in the casket at her funeral. But since her eyes have not changed and she had glasses on the end of her nose at that very moment which were perfectly fine, her attempt to scam the system was found out and denied. 

Tonight we arrived at a solution. They sell very fashionable reading glasses for next to nothing at drugs stores and at Wal-mart. Since she won't need to see through them in her casket, the prescription won't matter. 

It is important to have fashionable glasses, whether age 16 or three weeks from 102. 

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