A high-stakes conversation with my husband gives me food for thought.

Yesterday morning my husband and I were sitting drinking our morning coffee.  We were discussing the bizarre incident with a certain NFL player and his alleged activities the weekend before.  Conversation effortlessly moved on to a picture my husband had seen on his twitter account that made him sad.  It was a grown, healthy man, holding a bag of rationed food, walking away from a starving child on his face in the dirt, arms outstretched.  

"How do we rid the world of evil?", I ask.  "How is is possible to get rid of all the bad guys when inside us there is that potential to hurt others- physically, emotionally, etc. -and BE THE BAD GUY?  How do we control that nature to do bad?"  I know what my Bible says, that if I even think of hurting someone in my heart, it is like I have ACTUALLY done it.  How do I keep that under check when it so easily rises to the surface?

How do we keep doing good when we are surrounded by and encouraged to do bad.  How do we live selflessly in a culture where selfishness reigns supreme and "self" is considered #1?  Can we?

Then, in a twist of me feeling very puffed up with pride about how "good" I am at controlling my heart feelings, ran into someone with whom I used to be very close.  The relationship ended because of betrayal and hurt and her selfishness of not owning how she hurt me.  And yesterday she continued to be hurtful.  Although I tell everyone, including myself that I am "passed that relationship and have moved on" I clearly am not.  And that ugly "bad guy" syndrome came popping up!  The words that came out of my mouth -albeit under my breath- were ugly, hurtful, hateful, almost murderous.  I rationalized that I was allowed to feel that way because my feelings were hurt and since there was no closure my heart hadn't healed.  

Blink to Mr. NFL, who also had his feelings hurt and acted on his feelings.   

Evil is inside all of us because our hearts automatically lean that direction.  We all come up short of the standard of a clean heart.  We must check our heart attitudes all the time and admit our "bad" .  Until this happens on a global scale, evil continues to grow. But, hope, there is Hope!