I stumbled across a study on the internet recently that said married women in the U.S. do about 70 to 80 percent of the housework.
It shouldn’t have taken a study to tell us that!
The study went on to say that when women marry, the number of hours they spend on housework increases. For men–it stays the same.
You don’t say.
It goes on to say that when men do chores it is viewed as “helping out” their wives–who are primarily responsible for these tasks.
My son has grown tired of hearing me tell him that he will not be paid an allowance to keep his room clean, vacuum the floor and do general housekeeping chores that I ask of him.
“You shouldn’t be rewarded for something that is a part of civilization,” I tell him.
In return he shrugs his shoulders or rolls his eyes.
What once was a large-scale household war over who does what in the household has now turned into sequenced dance between Hubby and I.
He takes out the garbage and recycling, contributes to cooking and laundry, helps me find my lost things and fixes the mirrors on my car when I’ve backed out of the garage a little too fast.
I clean the house, contribute to cooking, take out the recycling, help with laundry and find him new projects to fix like the time I backed into his vehicle when I forgot to check my rearview mirror before putting the car in reverse.
While it appears that we’ve worked out a solution, one thing we have never seemed to come to an agreement on is whose “official” job it is to manage the household.
My argument is that “managing” a household is much more than taking care of the yard work, and completing repairs and projects.
He says without those things the household wouldn’t run as smoothly.
I agree that it helps keep the household running–I wouldn’t say his contributions keep things running “smoothly.”
For instance, we are both equally capable of putting our dishes in the dishwasher, yet Hubby chooses to set his dishes on the counter above the dishwasher.
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He says its because I rearrange the dishes he’s put in the dishwasher anyway, so in all reality he’s saving me from having to do it twice.
Going back to the study, for at least some women, the men are actually discouraged from doing more housework. One reason, it says, is that women don’t believe men are as good at chores as women are.
Okay, maybe I do sometimes rearrange the dishes he’s put in the dishwasher because I think my way works better.
In reality, even in today’s feminist world, very few men have been raised to be fully responsible for housework, and many men consciously or unconsciously look at housework as “women’s work.”
Most men will readily work around the yard, make repairs and complete projects on the weekends because, in his mind, repairs and projects count just as much, if not more, than “housework.”
The truth is, yard work, repairs and projects around the house are as much a necessity that needs to be completed as doing the dishes and cleaning the bathroom.
Most husbands, mine included, will be willing to “help out” if asked in a respectful manner and without criticism or judgement from their wives. Heck, they might even do it without being asked on occasion just to be nice!
The differences in opinions and perspectives between men and women is because Men and women THINK differently, SPEAK differently and DECIDE differently.
I agree with Zig Ziglar, many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood they are on the same side.