|
|
The Sleepy Eye Herald Dispatch - Sleepy Eye, MN
  • Neanderthals welcome

  • Any plans I had for Memorial Day weekend went to the wayside Friday after Chris became injured.

     


    • email print
  • Any plans I had for Memorial Day weekend went to the wayside Friday after Chris became injured.
    Let’s just say that he has learned the hard way that a female of any species can inflict damage when provoked.
    Instead of visiting our friends at campsites and warming bar stools at our favorite watering holes, we were reduced to shopping.
    Clearly, Chris was highly medicated both days he suggested this.
    Normally, our shopping trips together begin with us parting ways once we enter the store. When one of us is finished we will seek the other out or text our coordinates to the other with an ETA when we meet at the door again.
    This weekend I had suspicions that Chris had abandoned me in the final store we visited. I had done some leisurely shopping and when I finished an hour later, had not heard a word from him.
    I decided to take advantage of this new normal and began to look at home decor items.
    I was three aisles into home decor when I?found Chris with his arms full.
    I immediately questioned if he had taken one too many painkillers.
    He proudly showed me one item he planned on purchasing. It was a plaque that proclaimed neanderthals and knuckle draggers were welcome in the man cave--all others were NOT.
    He watched me read it and when I looked up with a bewildered look on my face he flashed me his best grin and winked.
    I considered taking out his other knee, but reconsidered when my stomach growled and he had promised to treat me to a romantic dinner at Applebee’s.
    During our romantic dinner he described his other purchases to me. They included various plaques and wall hangings proclaiming the ways of man and rednecks and rules of the man cave.
    I decided that it was time to revamp my decorating style before man cave items started to appear on the walls of my space.
     Since we moved last year, the only wall hanging I have on the wall is a giant clock.
    I've moved a lot in the past 10 years. I lived in two houses and three apartments in the almost 10 years I lived in International Falls. I lived in two apartments in Duluth in the year that I was there and I have lived in two apartments in the three years I have lived in St. James.
    Each time I moved I began to throw away home decor items. Each different space had different angles that I was becoming increasingly intolerant of decorating.
    If a majority of my home decor items didn’t fit, I had to find storage for them. In any case, the decorations were beginning to be a hodge podge of things I had collected throughout my life that were beginning to have no rhyme or reason.
    Page 2 of 2 - Before I?moved to St. James I chucked most of them and decided to start over.
    However, before Saturday, the only home decor purchases I have made in  the past three years was the giant clock. 
    While Chris was busy decorating his man cave, I took stock at what I had. One giant clock, a picture of a tree and an abstract wall-hanging in the shape of a tree.
    I?think I’m beginning to see a theme.
    Unfortunately, the man cave at this current time, is the best dressed space in our home.
    Definitely not my style.
    I spent my day off on Monday surfing the web to come up with a theme to begin collecting items to give my home style and personality.
    After two quizzes it was becoming apparent that I?liked a style that is relaxed, comfortable and inviting.
    Thankfully, my style is a little more civilized than Chris’s. I am allowed to hang welcome signs, but they should be left at just that—welcome.
    I’m not saying that I don’t appreciate neanderthals. After all, my children will be coming home soon for the summer. I just don’t find is necessary to roll out the welcome mat stating that.
    By Memorial Day Monday Chris’s knee was feeling better and the painkiller  haze he had been in for most of the weekend was beginning to lift.
    I asked him what color he would like better for our bedroom, sage green or baby blue.
    He grunted once.
    I?think that meant he likes the green.
     
      • calendar